In the grand ballroom of Westminster’s decree,
Where Keir Starmer leads with a fiscal spree,
The Triple Lock Tango begins its sway,
Pensioners twirl to a tune of dismay.
Oh, once it rose with a tripled grace,
Earnings, inflation, or 2.5%’s embrace,
But now Labour’s orchestra strikes a new chord,
A £10 billion cut, by the Institute’s word.
(The IFS, per 2025’s grim forecast, pegs the pension age at 74 by 2068—Labour’s rushing it to 2026, says The Guardian, July 21.)
So join the dance, ye readers of wit,
Post your protest moves—don’t just sit!
A shimmy for pensions, a stomp for the lock,
Show Starmer your steps—let’s rattle his flock!
Step one, dear elders, work ‘til seventy-four,
Knees creaking loud on the factory floor,
A waltz with wheelie bins, a jig with the till,
Four point eight years to live—time to pay the bill!
(Men in Glasgow, with a 73.4-year life expectancy, might never see that cheque—satire’s no lie!)
Step two, the winter fuel’s icy retreat,
Cuts slice through scarves, no warmth to meet,
From 2024’s hearth to a cold, drafty plight,
Pension Credit’s the ticket—or freeze out of sight.
(House of Commons Library, July 26, notes the 2024/25 eligibility change—charities scramble to help.)
The chorus swells with a satirical spin,
“Save the Exchequer!” cries Liz Kendall’s grin,
A tango of savings, a dip, a twirl,
Pensioners dance as their dreams unfurl.
(Work and Pensions Secretary Kendall touts this as a “reset”—but at what cost?)
Yet hark! A silver-haired uprising takes stage,
Bingo halls hum with a rebellious rage,
“Unlock our triple!” they chant in rhyme,
Defying the rhythm of fiscal time.
(By 2026, Reform UK might wave “Save Our Seniors” banners—mark my words!)
Pension age calculator https://www.gov.uk/state-pension-age